Yes.

While many things no doubt run through your head about what WTF means, and it does mean all of those things, the real name is “What The Farm Girl”. Or, better transitioned to “WTFarm Girl”.

Simply put, because the name “Farm Girl” was already taken by ex-playboy model “Banshee Moon”. While not really a “farm girl”, she does live on a farm, and at the age of 50 looks damn good (don’t most Playboy Models?).

“WTFarm Girl” is my new video blog YouTube channel, or rather, “vlog” as they are called. And, unlike Banshee Moon, I actually do work! Everything, as you already know.

Based on comments and stalkers on Facebook, I realized a lot of people (especially other women) really admire what I do and look forward to hearing about my many adventures (and super fails).

90% of everything I do out here is a learned trait that I had to acquire “on the spot”. I see many women moaning about not having someone to “help” them with something, instead of trying to do it themself, and it got me thinking that they just need some inspiration.

Hence the channel.

To inspire other women/people to “try something new”, to get dirty, and to learn something. Oh, and lets not forget the entertainment factor!

So far I’ve only got 2 videos up. On average it takes me about a week to complete a video. Many, many hours with plenty of interruptions!

So, spread the word, subscribe to my channel and lets get this thing rocking!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQuEO01jp9V9fqIRHilwc9A

With all of the work to be done around here, and way too much serious business to attend to, I’ve found one of the best stress relievers is scaring people.

I don’t know, there’s something calming about hiding silently in a dark closet, breathing slowly, waiting, listening, picking the right tactic and making a slight rustling sound. Then another. Then a bit louder as you peek through the crack of the door and watch them cautiously glance over at the closet, that look of trepidation on their face hoping the sound goes away so they don’t have to check it out. You wait a few more minutes, then rustle again, quieter. Their head shoots rights up out of their phone, eyes wide, and they slowly crawl across the floor as you poise yourself for your next move.

The closet door s flung open, and you manage to fall out on top of them, uttering the most horrific of sounds. They release a flood of sounds just as horrible, and then screams of anger when they finally come to their senses and realize the trick you had played.

It just gets the endorphins going!

And so, I’ve been banned from hiding and scaring people.

My argument is that it’s educational. You don’t want someone worse sneaking-up and grabbing you, or beating you over the head. You need to constantly be aware of your surroundings and plan accordingly.

When we first moved onto the property, there was a lot of discussion about bears, and wolves, and coyotes and cougars. And Big Foot.

One day I had a thought. We had game cams all over the property and the kids always get excited to see what’s on them. Why not dress up in a Big Foot costume, and slowly creep across the camera area? Maybe dragging a deer carcass or some other unfortunate object.

As the kids watch the video, and get freaked out, you then place “Big Foot tracks” all around the house the next day. . .

Another idea was the garden patrol creature. This nifty invention is a motion-activated fan-dancer waving guy. Used in gardens to scare away animals, it inflates instantly when the laser line of sight is crossed. We had thought about putting it out by the bus stop in the early morning hours. As soon as the kids hit the line of sight and go running to get on the bus, the waving guy inflates instantly to tower 20 feet above them.

More realistically, I’ll probably just settle for the coyote call. I got a pretty nifty remote controlled coyote call for Christmas and the sounds are amazing. I could easily set it up by the road, place a few questionable foot prints around there, and sit behind a tree and control the sounds. Single coyote nearby? Check. Sounds of animal being tortured? check! Sounds of unknown origin? You bet!

The only reason I haven’t is I want to video it. It will be worth the wait.

Nothing fails to infuriate me more than people who assume I do nothing all day. Now this might stand to reason considering my house is trashed and much of the time so is my yard. However, 9 times out of 10 I am covered in either poop, dirt, grease, maple syrup (that was a few days ago), water or diesel fuel.

I am doing SOMETHING 18 hours of the day. The remaining 6 I am sleeping.

There is no “end of the workday”, there are no weekends. Heck, I don’t even get Mother’s Day, Christmas OR my birthday off!

So when my daughter made a snarky comment about how I don’t do anything all day, I lit it up.

No, I didn’t yell. I simply explained that there are so many chores to get done that it would take 3 or 4 people to keep up on all them, so pretty much nothing is ever fully done (except for cleaning the animals out).

As the conversation progressed, it became quite clear to me that my child had fallen into the tight grip of social media and TV and lost track of reality. Being a city-kid and all, life on the farm has been a bit hard for her to enjoy.

Now, you may be wondering why on earth we’d have so many kids, and NONE of them with any chores?

Well, the answer to that one is long and arduous so I’ll save that for another time.

But I’d had enough, and if my own child is questioning WHY one thing or another that “should be so simple” isn’t done, then guess what? She just earned herself an apprenticeship!

As parents it’s our job to raise our kids the best we can, and I’ve certainly been guilty of being so overly busy with “work” that I haven’t paused to ensure my own child understands the importance of work.

I fully expect her to hate me by the first week of summer vacation, and probably not speak to me the remainder of it. But if she can at least grasp a small amount of what it takes to keep things running around here, well, then it just might be worth it.